Everyday Life
There is a theme in a bunch of the posts lately from the blogs I read. Everyday life. lg and I are just getting into this lifestyle and the chores and trials of everyday life seem to be our biggest obstacle so far, not our actual relationship, although the two are connected.
At first, when day after day there was no ‘D/s’ going on, I thought (and so did lg, I think) that we were doing something wrong; that I wasn’t being Dominate enough or lg wasn’t being ‘sub’ enough. As time went by, however, I started to look at our relationship now and over the years in relation to our everyday life. And that is when I realized that we have been D/s-ing since we met. It is a part of who we are and how we react to each other. Some of the things that we did with each other in daily life were destructive and, in some cases, just plain mean. But almost twenty years of communicating together helped us find what was or was not acceptable to each of us. This is the foundation of D/s, as well as marriage, not just the bedroom games. Seeing this and recognizing it is also major progress, for me anyway.
Another thing that I have realized while examining these everyday life issues is how much lg truly does every day, not just for me, but everyone in her life. She does all the things that it takes to keep a household, is a wonderful mother to our boy, takes care of her parents in whatever way she can, looks after her two teenage brothers as if they were her own, all while working a forty hour week OUTSIDE the home. Fucking Amazing! Because of these realizations, I have found myself in a strange situation. Now that we have defined and declared our D/s relationship to each other, I find that I am doing more day to day stuff (i.e. housework, taking care of bills, helping with family, etc.) as lg’s Dominant than I ever have before. I just recognize her day to day contributions more. And that is how it should be. Give and take, like always, only now I am paying more attention.
Also, with all the things she has claimed responsibility for in her life, when in the world will she have time to take care of me?!? lol…That’s the funny thing. She takes better care of me now than she ever has. But I think we look at it differently now. She WANTS to take care of ALL my needs, and we are discovering that, in doing so, she is taking care of her own needs much better as well. lg knowing that I see everything she does changes the dynamic for her and taking care of me, especially sexually, is no longer just another ‘chore’.
Nuala is right in her post today. The everyday interaction between partners defines their relationship as much as anything that is done in the bedroom or ‘dungeon’. I love lg in every way, no matter what ‘hat’ she maybe wearing at the time. She takes care of me in every way that I expect, to the best of her ability and with loving enthusiasm. How could anyone ask anything more from their submissive.
C.
At first, when day after day there was no ‘D/s’ going on, I thought (and so did lg, I think) that we were doing something wrong; that I wasn’t being Dominate enough or lg wasn’t being ‘sub’ enough. As time went by, however, I started to look at our relationship now and over the years in relation to our everyday life. And that is when I realized that we have been D/s-ing since we met. It is a part of who we are and how we react to each other. Some of the things that we did with each other in daily life were destructive and, in some cases, just plain mean. But almost twenty years of communicating together helped us find what was or was not acceptable to each of us. This is the foundation of D/s, as well as marriage, not just the bedroom games. Seeing this and recognizing it is also major progress, for me anyway.
Another thing that I have realized while examining these everyday life issues is how much lg truly does every day, not just for me, but everyone in her life. She does all the things that it takes to keep a household, is a wonderful mother to our boy, takes care of her parents in whatever way she can, looks after her two teenage brothers as if they were her own, all while working a forty hour week OUTSIDE the home. Fucking Amazing! Because of these realizations, I have found myself in a strange situation. Now that we have defined and declared our D/s relationship to each other, I find that I am doing more day to day stuff (i.e. housework, taking care of bills, helping with family, etc.) as lg’s Dominant than I ever have before. I just recognize her day to day contributions more. And that is how it should be. Give and take, like always, only now I am paying more attention.
Also, with all the things she has claimed responsibility for in her life, when in the world will she have time to take care of me?!? lol…That’s the funny thing. She takes better care of me now than she ever has. But I think we look at it differently now. She WANTS to take care of ALL my needs, and we are discovering that, in doing so, she is taking care of her own needs much better as well. lg knowing that I see everything she does changes the dynamic for her and taking care of me, especially sexually, is no longer just another ‘chore’.
Nuala is right in her post today. The everyday interaction between partners defines their relationship as much as anything that is done in the bedroom or ‘dungeon’. I love lg in every way, no matter what ‘hat’ she maybe wearing at the time. She takes care of me in every way that I expect, to the best of her ability and with loving enthusiasm. How could anyone ask anything more from their submissive.
C.
posted by Blogger at 2:34 PM
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