A Small Tribute...

This is a small dedication to ash, annissa, Gardian & nuala and the many other blogs that are helping lg and I find our path again.


Muddled Thoughts and Blogspots

Thoughts swirl, mingle, separate and rejoin,
Decisions made on the flip of a coin.
Countdown to disaster or total bliss,
Pressures liquid through his mindful abyss.

He can’t find his own center,
Now asked to be a mentor.
Two plus two must certainly equal four,
Unless she wants just a little more.

So he takes to the ‘net when no one’s around,
Altavista and google key words abound,
But what does he find instead of aid?
Dirty pics and spyware on his computer, I’m afraid.

So he hits the many chatrooms, chats on every subject, a very broad cast,
But can barely keep up reading them, let alone type that fast.
And besides, BigDick2000 just keeps talking about sex,
But the man's looking for feelings and how they will affect,
Their relations together and what they might be,
Twenty years from now, not just when he cums, you see.

So its on to the forums, a billion words in each one,
Posts asking for pics, aww come on, it’ll be fun,
And not one single line on the subject he seeks,
So hours searching wasted, just to find some more freaks.

And then, on the radio, he hears of a new thing,
And it sounds kinda cool, kinda interesting,
So he writes down a word, just one word, even though,
The word sounds more like a bad seventies kids show.

Blogging is the word, and his mind is entrigued!
People writing for no reason, just for themselves it seemed.
With tons of information on every subject around,
And hardly a nasty comment can ever be found.

So he searches and searches, and finally he finds,
A blog on the subject he has been looking for,
And it feels like a true meeting, a meeting of the minds,
And he finally has advice on how to open that ‘Door’.

A Door that has been tried by himself and his girl,
Cracked open a bit and peeked into a little,
But once where there was big scary things that belittled,
Now there is hope, help, knowledge made of pearl.

A sound board to bounce his ideas off of,
That first blog was a Godsend, straight from above,
Info and feelings shared with love,
Helping his new role to fit like a glove.

Because that blog led to another…and another he found,
Good people everywhere, with advice, fine and sound.
The ‘net isn’t really a cesspool after all,
You just have to find the right people is all.

So next time you need info and the ‘net is where you look,
Search through all the blogs instead of getting hooked,
By the multitude of bullshit on the ‘net these days,
Blogs are the way to go to help lift that haze.

It’s too bad that the internet isn’t all like this,
Because mutual respect and love is what truly leads to bliss.

C.

Update

Wow! What a couple of weeks! The boy is back from Boston. He had a great time. His time there was jam packed! He saw five movies, went to Cambridge and Harvard, the aquarium, saw the Blue Man Group (I am sooo jealous!) and actually marched in Boston’s annual lesbians parade! Pretty cool, huh?
Now we are preparing him for his trip to Australia and preparing ourselves for the trip up to Virginia. My pyro genes are in full force now. I can’t wait! lg is going crazy with all the preparations. I am trying to help, but she tends to get frantic at times like this and its usually better to just let her go.
The weekend that lg and I were supposed to have alone was spent just being together. We had a lot of vanilla sex but spent most of our time just being alone and relaxing. There wasn’t really any sessions and I’m fine with that. With so little time alone together, we tend to try and cram everything we want to do into that small amount of time. Instead of having this happen, I postponed lg’s official collaring until the boy is in Australia. It was still very nice to be with her. She took very good care of me; I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to do the whole week that our son was gone so the D/s was in full swing, just no sessions. I am a very lucky man.
Work has been a bitch, and since we do not have the net at home, I haven’t had a chance to catch up with any of the blogs I read (especially Gabriel and kaylems blog…they seem to write ten thousand or so words a day!) but I did find a blog, Sugar and Spice 69, that I think that lg and I will enjoy reading. Tara is just beginning thoughts of D/s and I gotta say, its nice to see that there are other D/s beginners out here in the bloggersphere besides us! I’ve added her to my blogger list to your right, so stop by and take a look if you get a chance.
Father’s Day was a very nice day. Lg cooked my Father’s Day dinner the night before. It was wonderful. On Sunday, we went to the in-laws house as usual and had hamburgers and hotdogs. It was nice, too. The thing I want to mention though is that a friend of lg’s folks came down from Virginia to visit. He is an old school Greek man in his late 60s. He brought his daughter and his niece, who was visiting from Greece. It was a pleasure to spend the day with them, listening to their accents. One thing I noticed, though, was the extremely dominant presence this man possessed. It was apparent in the way the two girls, 19 and 22, reacted to him and the way he demanded attention without the slightest hint of rudeness. lg’s reaction to him was apparent to me, even though she later said that she didn’t realize she was doing anything different than being a good host. At one point, while lg and her mother were serving dinner, the man, without even looking up, held up his rum & coke and simply said “Ice.” Lg’s reaction was immediate. She didn’t hesitate to take care of his needs without question. Now, lg does this for everyone in her life, but it almost seemed as though the man’s simple demand, without a please or thank you, gave her a respect that a please or thank you would not have provided. That, in expecting no less than compliance, he was by that very fact, showing her his respect. It was an eye opener to me and gave me a perspective of a dominant male that I hadn’t had before. To show dominance without words but to still show respect is something that I am not sure can be learned, but I can tell you that I will try.
Overall, things are good, if extremely hectic. I may not be able to post for awhile, but I will try to post some quick updates when I can. I always feel better and more organized after writing here. Something about seeing things written down that does my brain and heart good.

Until then,
Keep Living.

C.

I Was Tagged Again...

Payback from ash. : )

Have you ever...?
snuck out of the house - Yes
gotten lost in your city - Yes (I have NO sense of direction)
seen a shooting star - Wished on it and everything
been to any other countries besides Canada - Yes
had a serious surgery - Not really
gone out in public in your pajamas -Yes
kissed a stranger - Yes
hugged a stranger - Yes
been in a fist fight - Yes
been arrested - No (OK, yes...damnit)
laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose - Yes
pushed all the buttons on an elevator - Yes
swore at your parents - Yes
been in love - Oh yes
been close to love - Yes
been to a casino - Yes
been skydiving - No (Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane?)
been skinny dipping - Yes
skipped school - Too many times
seen a therapist - Probably not enough times.
done the splits - Ouch! No
played spin the bottle - Oh yes
gotten stitches drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour -Probably (I love milk!)
bitten someone - Yup
been to Niagara Falls - Drove past it once
gotten the chicken pox - Yes
kissed a member of the opposite sex - More than once
crashed into a friend's car - It was my Dad's car...does that count?
been to Japan - Would love to but no
ridden in a taxi - Yes
been dumped - Yes
shoplifted - Yes
been fired - More times than I care to remember
had a crush on someone of the same sex - Yes
had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - Yes
gone on a blind date - No
lied to a friend - Yes
had a crush on a teacher - A few
celebrated Mardi-Gras in new Orleans - Not yet...but soon, I hope
been to Europe - Same as last answer
slept with a co-worker - Yes
been married - Happily
gotten divorced - Happily No
had children - One
seen someone die - Not personally
had a close friend die - Yes
been to Africa - No
driven over 400 miles in one day - Many times
been to US - duh
been to Mexico - Yes
been to India - No
been on a plane - Yes
seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show - Only on TV, never in a theatre
thrown up in a bar - Yup
purposely set a part of myself on fire - I just don't get this one...is there a blog for this???
eaten sushi - Yes and YUK
been skiing/snowboarding - Got kicked out of my skiiing class in high school, so no
met someone in person from the internet - not yet
lost a child - In an arcade once
gone to college/university - Yes
graduated college/university - No (got 58 credits, though...lol)
fired a gun - Yes
purposely hurt yourself - Yes
taken painkillers - Yes
been intimate with someone of the same gender - Yes

I don't think they have been tagged yet...but not sure.

nuala

annissa

Sorry ladies. [[evil grin]]

C.

Now For The Rest Of The Story...

He looked down­ at his hand, wrapped in her long, silky, reddish hair. It shimmered in the light of the single candle burning in the corner of the bedroom. Her head was bobbing and needed no guiding from him. It had been three months since she had started her blowjob training; and it had paid off. He could feel her lips sliding up and down his shaft, taking in more than two thirds of him.

He reached under her with his free hand and squeezed her breast hard. She half moaned, half grunted, but never lost her rhythm. He knew that she loved to have her tits punished; even when there was nothing for her to be punished for. He took one of her large, erect nipples between two fingers and his thumb and proceeded to pinch it hard. He was rewarded with a small yelp from his lap.

As she continued to suck him, he could feel his balls filling and felt that familiar sensation that signaled he was getting close. He wasn’t ready to cum yet, so he pressed her head down until he felt her nose in his pubic hair, held her there until just before she began to choke and then released her. His cock fell from her mouth with a loud ‘plop’.

He rolled her over and stared at the body offered before him. She was so beautiful. Her hair had fallen over her shoulders and chest and had started to frizz slightly, as it was prone to do. Her bright red nipples stood out from under her hair. His gaze traveled south and he admired the swell of her belly. She hated the fact that her stomach pooched slightly, but the fact that it was the result of their son only made it sexier to him. He followed the curve of her hips to her narrow line of feathery pubic hair that hovered above her swollen vulva. There was a wet sheen on her bald, intimate flesh from the candlelight, produced by her desire and he could smell her yearning and was intoxicated by it. One leg was stretched out, toes pointed, and the other was bent and laid lazily to one side.

He reached between her thighs and easily let three fingers slide into her. Again, that low, guttural moan from her that never failed to exhilarate him. He leaned over her and softly kissed her cheek, her nose, her parted mouth. Her tongue danced over his lips, inside and outside his mouth. He took it in his teeth and held it there for a long moment, all the while plunging his fingers deep inside her. He relishing the frightened and excited look she gave him, her eyebrows furrowing.

He kissed her neck and ear and whispered, “You are such a good girl.” Once again he was enthralled with her reaction to those words. Her breathing quickened as another moan escaped her and she pulled her other leg up and out, making herself more available to him. He swung himself on top of her and slid himself into her beside his fingers, Sucking in his breath at the tightness of it.

“Oh, God!” She squealed. “My cunt is so full!”

He roughly swiped her hair from her tits and took a handful of her tender flesh and pulled her upward towards him. He didn’t let go when her back was pulled from the bed and she grimaced, yelling, “Ow, ow, ow, ow!”

He pulled his wet fingers from her open hole and stuffed them in her mouth, forcing his cock to her inner depths. She tried to scream, but it was muffled by the fingers reaching for her tonsils. He felt her pussy tighten around him and begin to contract. She was cumming.

He threw her back down and pistoned in and out of her with deep, long, fast strokes.

He slapped each breast hard, in turn as she started screaming, “I’M CUMMING!!!”

He tried to follow her intense rhythm as she pumped her hips upward to meet him. Her face curled and she bit her lip, moaning and grunting loudly. The waves of pleasure hit her for a full minute before her pace slowed and he could feel her essence spreading between her thighs. Her pussy was a cavern and this fueled his own passion. He absolutely loved fucking her when her cunt was this open and wet.

He yanked her up by her waist and flipped her over on her knees. He let four fingers slip easily into her sopping pussy for a moment before thrusting his cock back into her. Her pleasure pleased him but his own pleasure was now his focus as he fucked her. He alternated between slapping her ass and reaching around her waist to pinch her now swollen nipples.

This lasted maybe fifteen minutes, but time didn’t really mean much to him at the moment. His pace went frantic and when he pulled out of her and was treated to the sight of her gaping cunt, it was more than he could take.

She immediately flipped over and pushed her tits together, indicating where she wanted his sperm. He straddled her stomach and stroked himself until he started spurting. His cum covered her boobs and hands and dripped down her sides onto the bed. When he was finally done, he collapsed next to her, trying to breath. He laid there for several minutes in his own world when he felt her moving.

She had three of her own fingers in herself and was staring at him with the most endearing and desperate look.

“What do you want?” he teased, smiling.

“Please! Please play with my tits!” she begged. “I can cum again if you play with my tits!”

He loved to see her like this. A wanton slut with nothing on her mind but the pleasure of the moment. He reached over and gently and softly stroked her breasts.

“Oohh! Stop teasing me! Do it HARD!” she yelled at him.

He laughed and squeezed her hard, his cum oozing between his fingers.

“My nipples, please!”

He laughed again. She was so damn sexy! He took both nipples between his fingers and pinched harder.

“MORE!” she hissed. He could tell she was going to cum again. He leaned up and pinched both nipples as hard as he could, watching the blood drain from them and both her hands working feverishly between her legs.

This time her orgasm was silent, but he enjoyed watching her spasms, never decreasing the pressure his fingers had on her.

She finally collapsed. She told him, in a breathless voice, how very much she loved him and was asleep within minutes.

He lay back, arms folded behind his head and thought two things before he, too, drifted away.

First: Life is good.

Second: It really is good to be the boss.

A Three Day Weekend…Mmm, Mmm, Good

Sometimes all it takes to get started back on the right track is a little time off.

Saturday was lg’s brother’s birthday, so the whole family (that live where we do) went to see Episode 3. The movie was good, but the company was better. All of us have been strapped for cash, so we haven’t been out together for awhile. We had a great time and everyone was in good spirits. Lg’s brother, who rarely drinks, wanted to get drunk so he, his brother, a few of his friends and I spent the evening drinking cheap bourbon, playing video games and generally talking shit like guys do. It has been awhile since I did anything like this so I had a blast! I ended up spending the night with lg’s brother and lg didn’t give me any problems when I dropped her and the boy off at home.

I came home at 7 am on Sunday without any major hangover (amazingly!) and crept into bed beside lg. I had every intention of drifting back to sleep when I felt lg’s hand on my cock. We made love for a long while and spent the day together with the boy watching movies and generally being lazy. Another great day.

On Monday, having the day off, I thought it would be a good time to start organizing our computer corner (it really is a corner…lol) so we are ready when we have the money to get our internet turned back on. Some of the (HUGE) mess was from our move here over two years ago. Organizing my CDs took most of the day. I did, however, find the CDs with most of the ‘net porn I have collected over the years. Needless to say, I started out opening a few files on each CD just to see what was on it, averaging about two or three minutes a CD. By the time I got towards the bottom of the stack, I was averaging a half hour per CD. I can get horny when the wind blows, so this task got me more than a little hot and bothered.

When I was done (phew!), I decided to play with lg a little and wrote a note telling her to find four ‘giving head’ clips, four ‘S&M’ clips and four ‘peeing’ clips to watch on the CD I had up on the screen and ‘P.S. You should be naked from the waste down, except for shoes, when I get out of the shower.’ I then put the note under the mouse and told lg I was going to take a shower and that she should take a look at the CD I had found. She sighed and said that she had seen them already. I responded by rolling my eyes and saying that one day, she would just do what I asked her to. A couple minutes later I peaked out of the bedroom and, sure enough, she was perusing the CD. I went and took my shower.

When I got out, I went into the living room naked (the boy was out and about with friends) and saw that lg had not disrobed. I asked her if she had seen my note, but it turned out she hadn’t because I had turned the note upside down. I gave it to her and she read it. She immediately did as the note asked and said that she had seen more than four of each of the clips I had asked her to watch. She actually blushed. It is so hard for her to embrace the slut in her. It’s cute, though…and highly erotic to me.

She prepared some leftovers and we watched TV for awhile while I stroked her thighs. After we finished eating I got semi-dressed (it’s Florida; everyone is semi-dressed!) and ran to the store for a bottle of wine. When I got back, all the lights were off and lg was in the bedroom with a single scented candle going. I poured us glasses of wine and found a half smoked roach in lg’s bedside table. We lazily smoked and drank while we watched Shreck 2 (which I have started watching three times and have yet to see the end…[I bet they live happily ever after]). She likes to lay on her stomach with her head towards the TV which gave me wonderful access to her beautiful bare thighs and ass. As I played with her, touching and kissing her flesh, I could hear her soft and guttural moans.

At some point lg turned her head towards me and said, “Hey! I thought we weren’t doing any D/s stuff until the boy went to Boston?”

I said, “I did say that, didn’t I?”

“Yes you did.”

I slipped a second finger inside her and said, “Your right. I could stop if you want me to.”

She closed her eyes, moaned and shook her head no.

Later, she rolled over and said she had to pee. I told her that until I said differently, she was to pee in the bathtub. She gave me that look that could have been either her ‘mischevious, ooh la la’ look or her ‘I’m afraid and I’ll never be able to do that’ look. I held my breath. She simply rolled back on her stomach and said she could wait. I had to chuckle to myself. There was no way I was letting her off the hook this time.

About a half hour later, she looked at me, grinning, and said that she had to pee! I said go ahead. She grunted and went back to watching TV while I continued playing with her.

Later she said, “Are you going to watch me?”

“Do you want me to watch?” I responded.

“NO!”

“OK, then I won’t.” I said, calmly.

“If you’re not going to watch, then what is the point of my doing it?” she asked.

Here it comes, I thought. lg, the great ‘Deal Maker’. She has a way of taking the simplest statement and dissecting it to the point that it’s hard to tell what the original meaning of the statement is.

I thought for a long moment and then said to her that it was a fairly easy way for her to safely cross that ‘line’ and step back again and that I also just liked making her do ‘bad and nasty’ things.

“Can I take my shoes off?”

“No.”

“Then how will I be able to do it without getting it all over them?”

“Just sit on the edge of the tub like you would the toilet.”

“That won’t work! I won’t be able to balance!”

“Yes you will.”

“Show me!”

“OK.”

I smiled, a little tensely, as she followed me to the bathroom and watched as I demonstrated.

“It will hurt my back. You know my back has been hurting.”

“This isn’t that big a deal, sweetheart.” My patience was wearing thin.

“Then why do I have to do it?”

“little girl, do it or don’t do it!”

“What will you do if I don’t?”

“Don’t do it and find out.”

We sat silently for awhile before lg got up and headed for the bathroom.

“You said you wouldn’t peek!” she said over her shoulder.

I had no intention of peeking. “I won’t.”

I heard the shower curtain being drawn back and caught a glimpse as she disappeared into the tub. About four minutes later she practically bound back into the bedroom and plopped down on the bed.

“I did it!” she said, her face glowing. I realized that she wasn’t looking at me when she said it; that the statement wasn’t really directed towards me. It was directed towards herself. I was struck by the innocent and honest tone of her voice and how the 36 year old woman sitting before me looked to me at that moment so much like the barely turned 17 year old girl she had been when we first met. And how lucky I was to have her.

I pulled her towards me and she buried her head in my chest, hugging me tight. I hugged her back and told her that I loved her. Without coaxing, she slipped her face down my belly, her long reddish hair trailing along my chest. She slid my cock between her breasts a few times before devouring it with her mouth. She has gotten very good at this in the last few months. It feels like absolute heaven. Soon, I flipped her over and started playing with her tits through the thin, black tanktop she was wearing.

Now, lg is a tittie torture whore! While some of this whole transition is hard for her, when it comes to her boobs, she can take a tit beating better than the most extreme of submissives. Two weeks ago, lg’s nipple ring was lost during a heated lovemaking session. While the ring was very pretty and I enjoyed her having it, it was also a constant nuisance for me in bed, so I decided to have her leave it out. This would be the first time in years that I would be able to play with both breasts equally as hard.

To be continued…

C.

Note: Work has been extremely hectic this week, so I will post the rest of Monday night as soon as I can get to it. I know, what a tease! lol