We Got the House...

So, we got the house.
Let me explain HOW I think we got it. Yesterday’s phone conversation with the realtor went something like this:

Realtor: “I’m sorry, Mr. _________, but the owners of the houset have some problems with some of the debt on your credit report.”
Me: “Really?”
Realtor: “Yes. There are...(thirty seconds or so of listing debts)...and I just don’t see how I can put you in this house.”
Me: “Well, as I said when we looked at the house, we do have some credit issues, which is the very reason we are renting and not buying. We have spent the last year keeping up our payments on all our current bills and somewhere on our credit report it must show that we have paid off (a medical bill) about six months ago.”
Realtor: “Really? Let me see...(long pause). Yes. Yes, I see it now.”
Me: “You see, we plan on taking this year to catch up all of our outstanding debts so that we can buy a house of our own at the end of this lease.”
Realtor: “I see. Have you found a real estate agent to help you yet?”
Me: “Why no, we haven’t (a lie).”
Realtor: “Well, it does seem like you have a plan for getting your credit back up. It’s really not that bad. Let’s see...(short pause)...Everything on your report adds up to about $2,500. That really isn’t bad at all.”
Me: “No. It really isn’t that bad. Let me ask you something. If we paid these debts off , say, in the next six months, how long do you think it would take for our credit score to start rising?
Realtor: “Well, it takes five years to get anything on your report to come completely off...(continued with a five minute lecture on credit development, keeping a credit card that you pay off every month, etc....bla, bla, bla. Nothing I didn’t already know. He even shared that HIS credit score is 800...la-di-fucking-da)."
Me: “So, if I did...(repeating what he had said...acting like I was writing it down) then it shouldn’t take too long at all.”
Realtor: “No, I don’t think it would.”
Me: ...Silence
Realtor: “Ok, Mr. Schaefer. I’m sure that I can talk to the owners and we can work something out.”
Me: “That sounds great. Thanks for all your help.”
Realtor: “No problem. I’ll call you tomorrow after I talk with the owners.”
Me: “Ok, then I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodbye.”
Realtor: “Goodbye.”

He called back this afternoon and told us to come in at 4pm to sign the lease.

I am posting yesterday’s phone call for a couple of reasons.
First, I am proud of myself. Proud that I did NOT react on the phone like I reacted in my last post, not for what I DID do. My last post was venting for having to, once again, kiss some lackey’s ass. lg also had to hear a whole lot more on the way home from work yesterday. Only a couple short years ago, I would have blown up and we would still be looking for a place to live. Second, and this is what I really want to talk about, is the actual semantics of everyday conversations.

My fifth idiosyncrasy was about my ongoing struggle with interactions with other people in the world at large. My anti-social behavior. I have never been good at conversing with people in social or even business situations. This is not because I do not know how to communicate; I consider myself quite above average when it comes to communication, when it is honest and about REAL issues. Small talk and what I have heard called POWER talking (how to get your way using tricks in conversations and crap like that) have always been very alien to me. lg has always been the pro when it came to these things.
I have been struggling with the fact that, whether I think it is bullshit or not, it is absolutely necessary in the society we live in. And I am getting much better at it, even though it makes me feel ill when I do engage in it and I am NOT proud of doing it.
Example: The conversation I had with the realtor could have cost us this house, but it didn’t, even though I believe that the man had no intention of renting to us when I first answered the phone. I didn’t panic or get pissed off, however, and was able to direct the conversation where I chose to. Of course, I had to do a bunch of fucked up (in my opinion...others see these as positive traits, I know) things to do it. My non-confrontational confidence, my ability to stroke his ego and appeal to his greed were all factors in his changing his attitude and his mind.
In a society where it’s ok, even considered an admirable quality, to ‘take out’ the next guy to get ahead and where we are rewarded for our greed, it is no wonder we treat each other in the truly awful ways we do. I wish that I could change it, and for many years I thought I could at least do my part by not participating in all the crap I have just described. But I have been shit on because of this for so many years that I just don’t care anymore. I will still try to be kind to people, and will still avoid bullshit, day to day conversations, but I WILL play the game if I need to get what my family and I need.

So, my apologies for the rant in my last post. I considered deleting it (it embarrasses me slightly) but it is who I am...and this seems to be the only public forum that will allow it, even if I DO have to hide behind a pseudonym. And besides, my last post distracts from my boys photos!

Keep Living.

C.