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C.

Everyday Life

There is a theme in a bunch of the posts lately from the blogs I read. Everyday life. lg and I are just getting into this lifestyle and the chores and trials of everyday life seem to be our biggest obstacle so far, not our actual relationship, although the two are connected.

At first, when day after day there was no ‘D/s’ going on, I thought (and so did lg, I think) that we were doing something wrong; that I wasn’t being Dominate enough or lg wasn’t being ‘sub’ enough. As time went by, however, I started to look at our relationship now and over the years in relation to our everyday life. And that is when I realized that we have been D/s-ing since we met. It is a part of who we are and how we react to each other. Some of the things that we did with each other in daily life were destructive and, in some cases, just plain mean. But almost twenty years of communicating together helped us find what was or was not acceptable to each of us. This is the foundation of D/s, as well as marriage, not just the bedroom games. Seeing this and recognizing it is also major progress, for me anyway.

Another thing that I have realized while examining these everyday life issues is how much lg truly does every day, not just for me, but everyone in her life. She does all the things that it takes to keep a household, is a wonderful mother to our boy, takes care of her parents in whatever way she can, looks after her two teenage brothers as if they were her own, all while working a forty hour week OUTSIDE the home. Fucking Amazing! Because of these realizations, I have found myself in a strange situation. Now that we have defined and declared our D/s relationship to each other, I find that I am doing more day to day stuff (i.e. housework, taking care of bills, helping with family, etc.) as lg’s Dominant than I ever have before. I just recognize her day to day contributions more. And that is how it should be. Give and take, like always, only now I am paying more attention.

Also, with all the things she has claimed responsibility for in her life, when in the world will she have time to take care of me?!? lol…That’s the funny thing. She takes better care of me now than she ever has. But I think we look at it differently now. She WANTS to take care of ALL my needs, and we are discovering that, in doing so, she is taking care of her own needs much better as well. lg knowing that I see everything she does changes the dynamic for her and taking care of me, especially sexually, is no longer just another ‘chore’.

Nuala is right in her post today. The everyday interaction between partners defines their relationship as much as anything that is done in the bedroom or ‘dungeon’. I love lg in every way, no matter what ‘hat’ she maybe wearing at the time. She takes care of me in every way that I expect, to the best of her ability and with loving enthusiasm. How could anyone ask anything more from their submissive.

C.

Update

I haven’t had the chance to write for awhile. We currently don’t have internet access at home and work has been nuts. lg and I have been getting along pretty well considering the pressures we are currently under. We have eight days until the deadline for getting the boy’s tuition in for his trip abroad. We will then spend the next six weeks trying to catch up on the bills we didn’t pay. Needless to say, there hasn’t been much D/s going on. lg now owes me sixty minutes on her blowjob training…lol.

We are going back to Virginia for the fourth of July to shoot our hometown’s professional fireworks display. I am already getting the pre-game adrenalin rush that always precedes a show. Nothing like blowing up eight or nine thousand pounds of explosives by hand to getcha pumped! I shoot over three hundred three inch shells while lg shoots forty to sixty six inch shells. I believe we are putting up a fourteen inch shell during the finale this year. BIG BOOMS! Our son leaves as soon as we get back and that gives us most of the rest of the month alone, for the first time in twelve years. I have plans to have a week long training session for us at that time. I say ‘us’ because I need training with all this as much as lg does. And, I think lg will need something to keep her mind off the fact that her baby is seven thousand miles away.

Even though we haven’t been D/s-ing, our sex lives have been pretty good also. Lg has been initiating sex a lot lately, which is unusual for her. I also think she has been taking her pussy stretching exercises seriously. This past weekend, while we were having vanilla sex, she reached between us, between her legs, and sank all four of her fingers deep inside of herself alongside my cock It felt amazing! Her grunts and groans were wild and passionate, more so than I have heard from her in a long time. She has also tasted my cum more in the last two months than our previous twenty years together.

Overall, I know things are good. It’s hard to remember that sometimes, especially when you have absolutely no money. But we will get through this. We always do. And when we come out the other side, we will be closer to each other than we were. That always happens too.

I am the luckiest man alive.

Keep Living.

C.

P.S. I’m still working on my “101 Things” list.

101 Things About Me...Chapter Two

9. I want to be considered an artist. I don’t believe, however, that I have earned the title yet, but I’m getting there. http://submissionboundphotoblog.blogspot.com/

10. I’m a control freak. It has been only in the past several years that I have realized this.

11. I am NOT a clean freak. While I don’t want dirty dishes and empty beer and soda cans all over the place, an unmade bed and clothes on the floor won’t send me into a tizzy.

12. I am NOT a bigot. While I think that all of us have biases towards other types of people, I have spent my whole life trying to judge individuals as just that, individuals. I believe that a person has the basic right to do absolutely anything he/she wants as long as it does not hurt another.

13. I love ALL types of music from anywhere. While I don’t have a favorite, country is my least favorite, although I grudgingly give props to Tim McGraw.

14. I cheated on lg fifteen years ago with her best friend. The three of us partied together frequently, and the night it happened was no different. We had been playing around with the idea of the three of us having a threesome, but had never openly talked about it. We had taken turns stripping for each other and exchanging kisses throughout the night. Late that night lg went to bed and I watched TV while her friend passed out on the sofa. At some point I noticed that she was masturbating (or I thought she was, anyway) and so I started caressing her. She responded to those caresses and I eased on top of her and slid myself into her. Literally two strokes later, she moaned out lg’s name and reached out with her hands looking for her. I immediately realized what a mistake this was and stopped, apologizing profusely. She said she understood, but didn’t want to do anything bad to lg. I went to bed. The next day, while lg and I were still sleeping, our friend got up and decided to surprise her husband (yes, she was married) at work. He had just graduated the police academy and was finishing up his last week as a security guard at a local gated community. When our friend got there, her husband was dead, shot twice by the husband of his mistress. Soap opera shit, only for real. We only saw our friend again at the funeral and one other time when she came by. It was extremely awkward and we never saw her again after that.

15. I am watching lg’s brother’s eight-foot albino Burmese python while he looks for a new apartment. I thought that I wanted to keep her forever until she bit me a month ago, trying to swallow three of my fingers. FYI: While pythons do not have fangs, they certainly DO have teeth. It took lg and I five minutes and a screwdriver to get her off of me. The wounds are just starting to heal and I haven’t taken the snake out of its tank since. I’m not sure I ever will again. Live and learn.

16. It takes me a long time to become friends with someone. I hate superficial relationships and as a result, I don’t get to know people very quickly.

17. I hate small talk. This is one of lg’s most incredible qualities. She can talk to, and make feel comfortable, practically anyone, even if she has just met them. I am not this way. If I have nothing to say, I prefer saying nothing at all to just yapping about whatever.

18. I love to smoke pot and have for thirty years. I took my first puff sitting in a circle with my parents and others who lived in the commune when I was six years old. I don’t condone the giving of ANY drugs to kids, but I DO think that telling kids that all drugs are bad is a serious mistake. I choose to be totally honest with my son on this subject and tell him that while yes, I do smoke pot on occasion and see nothing wrong with it, I will kick his ass if I find out he is doing it just like I would if I found out he was drinking or smoking cigarettes. I think that kid’s lives are hard enough without adding drugs or alcohol to the mix. When the boy turns eighteen, he can try anything he has a desire to.

19. My favorite color is any shade of blue. I just find it the most expressive for me.

20. I love eating. While I am not overweight (5’8” – 155 lbs.), I believe I could get to be if I wasn’t careful. It also doesn’t help that my father is an absolute gourmet and lg has become one as well. She loves to cook and I love to eat! God Bless the Food Channel! lol

21. I love computer graphics. Print, web…I love all of it. I have created many websites (you won’t get any links to them here…lol) and have had my print work published in many, many publications all along the east coast.

22. I love to write. I have only been writing consistently for about ten years, but now I can’t seem to stop. I have had a few articles published in several publications. I have an idea for an erotic thriller.

23. I want a motorcycle. I never wanted one until I moved to the beach, here in Florida. My favorite cousin was killed on a crotch rocket.

24. I LOVE THE BEACH! I love everything about it. It was a dream of lg and I to one day move to the beach, and we made it happen. Chalk one up for us.

25. While I am much more organized than I used to be, I don’t think I could be classified as organized in general.

More to come…

C.

101 Things About Me (Chapter one...lol)

1. I was born in Fort Worth, Texas. My folks were there for a job interview as camera people, so I was only there two weeks.

2. I spent the first eight years of my life living in a commune with from ten to forty people. From 1970 to 1974 the commune was located at Laniard Place in downtown Washington, D.C. It was a community dedicated to racial equality. In a space of a month in 1974, my father was severely beaten by pissed off black people. The first time, he and my mother were pulled from a car during a riot. My father was beaten badly with bats and bottles. Luckily, my mother escaped relatively unharmed. The second time my father was beaten, three weeks later, was by a group of eight or ten black men who though it inappropriate for him to be walking down the street with a black woman. The woman he was walking with lived at the commune. Two weeks later, my father started a new commune in the country in Virginia dedicated to social change by working within the system. We left D.C. because my father didn’t want to risk my mother or my safety, NOT because he was afraid.

3. My folks were part of what is now called a polyamorous relationship. For the first ten years of my life, I had two mothers. They shared all responsibilities for me (I am an only child). They all slept in the same bed. I told people my second mom was my aunt. When I was twelve, she told my parents that she wanted a ‘normal’ family and left; cold turkey. She told them this in a hotel room the night before my placement audition at North Carolina School of the Arts (NCSA). Needless to say, I botched the audition and was placed with the “Why Are They Even Here” group. I lasted two semesters before being kicked out. None of the $14,000 my folks payed for a year there was refunded. Hell of a way to start my teen years.

4. I have played violin since I was six. I could mimic practically any melody by the time I was ten. In addition to NCSA, I went to Meadowmount School of Music, the summer program for Juliard School of Music, for 2 summers. From the time I was nine until I was fourteen, I practiced a minimum of four hours a day, seven days a week. During my classical training I used my ear to cheat by listening to recordings of the pieces that I was working on. Hence, I never actually learned how to read music, fooling all of my instructors. After that I started playing blues and bluegrass, winning many contests and competitions. When I was thirteen, I played at a bluegrass convention for a crowd of 18,000 people. It was VERY cool. I haven’t played for anyone but immediate family for over 20 years.

6. I lost my virginity at the age of twelve to, literally, the girl next door, who was also twelve. The decline of my music ‘career’ can be traced, in large part, to this moment. The moment I discovered that I could ‘play’ the female body as well as I could play violin. Major keys to both are attention and focus, a little talent, and the right instrument. My focus and attention was easy for me…I absolutely LOVE women! The talent is something I have only God to blame for and as far as the instrument…well…a twelve year old with a fully grown, eight inch cock has a bright future when it comes to sex. After that first time having sex, the ages of my girlfriends throughout my teen years ranged from two to ten years my senior. And there were many. And I wouldn’t take any experience I had with any of them back. I know, a fourteen year old boy with a twenty four year old woman sounds a little weird (not to mention illegal) but every one of those women helped me become the man I am now, and I won’t apologize for it. This is a discussion that lg and I have had often, and disagree vehemently on.

7. When I was seventeen I had a fight with my twenty year old girlfriend. Since I hadn’t gotten my license yet, I decided to hitchhike from her house to mine, a twenty minute ride. I was picked up by a 300 lb. black guy. I didn’t get home until a very long eighteen hours later. When I got in the car, the man asked me if I wanted to drink a few beers before he dropped me off. Being pissed at the time (and still being extremely naïve for all my ‘maturity’) I said sure. The next eighteen hours were some of the scariest I have ever had to face in my life. To make a VERY long story short, he told me that he wanted to ‘play’ with me and that he would take me home when he was ready. We got as far as 200 miles from where I lived. I am still proud of myself for the way I handled the situation overall. As soon as I knew I was in trouble, I started treating the whole situation like a date. So when I would refuse an advance from him, he saw it as my being coy, even charming. I kept him talking about his life in general, and when he would fall silent, I would start talking about mine. While I was fondled and was forced to fondle him (he was huge) I was not raped. At its worst point, sometime in the middle of the night, he parked on a deserted country road next to a dumpster. He told me that he was going to break me in half and put my body in the dumpster and no one would ever know about it. To this day, I cannot remember what I said to him to change his mind. But he did change his mind. He ended up dropping me off at my cousin’s house (I didn’t want him knowing where I lived) with the promise of picking me up the following week for another “date”. My cousin, ready to kill after I told him what had happened, rode me around for hours looking for his car until we found it parked in an apartment complex near where he had picked me up. The next morning, my cousin’s girlfriend took me to the police station. I recorded a statement for them and the police took me to the apartment complex and I pointed out the car. They called it in and got an apartment number. With me standing in the entranceway to his building, stairs leading up and down, they knocked on the door at the top of the stairs. To my surprise, the man came out of an apartment that was located down the other stairs and we were face to face. If I had had anything in my stomach, I would have puked on the spot. The man smiled until I called out and the officers came down and proceeded to handcuff him. The look on his face was one of pure hatred. As he passed me in that hallway he mumbled that he knew he should have killed me. I have never been so utterly terrified in my life, not before and not since. When I got back to the police station a detective came in to talk to me. He told me several things. First, the man had been accused of molestation and/or kidnapping three times before. Two of those times, the case never got into court. The victims had dropped all charges. The third had been dismissed for lack of evidence. He then told me that, because I wasn’t actually raped, the chances of convicting the guy were minimal and that even if he were convicted, he would be out in less than a year. He said that he was very sorry, but the whole process would be considerably harder on me than on the man and I should think real hard before continuing. Two hours later I was back at my cousin’s house and the man had been released. I never saw him again. While this is the first time I have ever written this experience down, I did get over the ordeal. The only thing that really bothers me about the whole thing is that I don’t believe for a second that the guy stopped. And what if his next victim or victims weren’t as fast of talkers that I was.

8. I have just reread the first seven things on my list and I know what the number eight thing about me is: Damn, I’m long winded! This was supposed to be a fairly light-hearted task and I’ve turned it into my life story. Once I started, it just came pouring out. I will post these for now and I promise to keep it more brief and not so negative. Not everything in my life has been bad. Lol

C.

No Session Again This Weekend

We had another great weekend spending quality time together for the third or fourth weekend in a row. Our discussions of this new lifestyle are already providing something for us that we have needed for a long time. And, truthfully, it has nothing to do with D/s. We used to spend time together as much as we could, but after so many years together, we had started using spare time for our own selfish needs to the detriment of our relationship.

Saturday night, with the boy spending the night with a friend, was, once again, supposed to be session time. Once again, we ended up talking all night and never got to the session. This is my fault. Here are a few reasons I think so.

1. We get very little ‘alone’ time together. When we DO get some, and things are going well, I want to spend time talking with the only person who understands me. At this point, this preempts my desire to discipline or even have sex with lg. This worries me a little. I want to help lg get to where she wants to be in this lifestyle, but, so far, I have mostly chosen not to, prefering to talk with her. The reason I am only a little worried is that I believe the talking will help me immensely when we DO start session regularly.

2. I’m afraid. There, I said it. The responsibility that comes along with trying to manage lg’s life (which, essentially, is what she is asking for) is weighing on me heavily. The first steps we are taking towards this goal involves her sexuality. The line that I will have to toe is precarious. She wants me to extend her desires, but in order to do that, I have to cross that line into uncharted areas, and find a place to draw a new line; a line that will be crossed again in the future. Scary shit.

3. How can I start managing lg’s life when I can barely manage mine. This is self-doubt talking, because I know that I AM managing my life very well now. I haven’t always, in the past. And it has been lg that has managed both our lives in the past to get me to this point. So who am I to tell her how she should run her life? Intelligently, I know the answer. Because it’s my turn and I owe it to her. Emotionally, however, it’s hard to get past the 15 or so years that she did it for me.

So I will continue to enjoy the fairly vanilla ways that lg uses to show her obedience and prove her submission to me and pay close attention to the discussions we have. She has to cross that line first, in order to give the reigns of her life to me and she is coming closer everyday. I just have to be ready and able (I have been willing my whole life) to take those reigns when she is ready to give them to me.

On a lighter subject: lg’s training in giving head are cumming (sorry…couldn’t help myself) along beautifully. She has been spending five minutes a day worshiping my cock. If, for any reason, she is unable to do this, the five minutes is tacked on to the next day. On Sunday morning, it was up to 20 minutes. She only gagged once that I noticed and has been getting deeper every time she does it. And she has started moaning. Oh, my, how that pleases me. With her having to worry about gagging less and less, I believe she is actually starting to enjoy it (I always new she would, eventually). And she did something that she has only done three or four times since we have been together. I came on her face. AND she left her mouth open so some cum got in (not much but still). AND she didn’t immediately act as if I had burned her with acid! lol

Also, annissa (www.lifeashis.com) was given an assignment of coming up with a list of 101 things about herself. It is a great idea, especially the way she did it. So, lg and I are both doing our own lists. They will be posted as soon as we finish them. As annissa pointed out, it’s not nearly as easy a task as I had originally expected it to be.

Thanks for reading.

Keep Living.

C.

All Our Blogs are Set Up

lg's blog and our photo blog are now set up. Here are the links.

http://submissionbound.blogspot.com/

http://submissionboundphotoblog.blogspot.com/

C.

Here is a sketch I did when I was 16. I drew it in high school and was suspended out-of-school for 5 days for it. A little extreme, in my opinion, but I believe the principle (a woman) was just offended with the subject matter, not the fact that it showed his dick.

C.