Well, the surgery went about as perfectly as we could have hoped. lg is recovering nicely. We are currently out of state visiting my parents. My mother has MS and has been bed-ridden for a couple years now. She is doing very well also. lg is out shopping with my Dad's girlfriend and I'm playing with my new HP laptop (God, this thing is awsome!).
The last month has been like no other in my life, stresswise. Both my mother and lg have had surgery, the site that I work for launched a new format and my boss left town for two weeks, leaving me to take care of the new site alone, and the boy was suspended from school for 'pantsing' a girl. **sigh** I think, though, that I am over the peak and am working my way down the other side...finally.
lg and I have had our moments. She has been stressed over the surgery and has had some problems letting go of control of our household, day-to-day stuff, and I have, of course, been the one that she has vented her frustrations on. Its ok, though. Understandable.
The subject of D/s has not come up, as I intended. At times, she has shown signs that she did not want to pursue it any longer, and at other times, has let go and been my little girl once again. Complicated creature, my wife.
lg still has much recovering to do, so it will be awhile before we discuss it again. There is the strong possibility that she will not want to pursue it any longer. And that will be ok with me.
There is a stronger possibility, I think, that she WILL want to continue our experiment. If that is the case, it will be very different. Different for two reasons.
Reason one: Our experimentation into D/s so far has been a growing experience for me. And the last month or so has given me more confidence in that I know now that I can handle just about anything, when it comes to the relationships in my life. lg has wanted her man to take more responsibility in our lives and now I feel like I am ready to give her that. Not only am I not as resistant to it now, I find myself actually desiring it. For ths reason, I believe that Phase two of our D/s experiment will be more successful than the first. I now have the tools and the attitude to be a better Dominant.
reason two: I think that my ability to do what needs to be done will give lg the confidence to let go and allow herself to be dominated. And this is a must. lg MUST adhere to my authority. Without question. It is something she has had much trouble with, but if she/we want this to succeed, she must trust me enough to actually take care of her. And I will not be able to do that unless she does as I ask her, even if it is something she wouldn't normally have done. But isn't that the point...isn't that what she is asking for...for our lives to be different and for me to be in control of those differences? I think it is.
We are catching up again. And our lives and struggles won't be so overwhelming. I am a very lucky man to have the loving people around me that I do...and they all deserve my love, and yes...my guidance...and I have guidance to offer.
Forever Training,
C.
